Wifey Read online

  “Don’t spend all your dough on wifey.”

  “Which one?” he snickered.

  “Look, you can only have one wifey. The rest of the women you got are your stick girls.”

  Brian laughed at me. I guess he thought I was funny. “Yo, you crazy. Whose daughter you got?”

  “This is Ricky’s daughter, Fredrica. You don’t remember her?”

  “Oh yeah. Damn, she done got big!”

  “I know,” I commented.

  “So, Ricky gotcha playing step-mommy today.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, let me go and check out one of these sneakers stores.”

  “Alright. It was nice seeing you.”

  “Nice seeing you too,” he smiled as he turned to walk in the other direction.

  Fredrica and I got in my car and headed in the direction of my house. Right after I got on the highway, I dialed Ricky’s cell phone.

  “What’s up, baby?” he asked.

  “Where you at?”

  “I’m taking care of some business.”

  “What you want me to do with Fredrica?”

  “Take her home because I’m gon’ be tied up for awhile.”

  “Wait! I thought we were going out to dinner.”

  “We are. But it ain’t gon’ be until about seven or eight o’clock.”

  “Seven or eight o’clock?” I asked as the tone of my voice escalated.

  “Yeah.”

  “What the fuck you doing that I gotta wait until seven or eight o’clock?”

  “I’m taking care of business,” Ricky yelled through the phone.

  “Well, if you taking care of business, then why the hell you sound like you tired? What, you just ran from the police? Or are you fucking one of them stinking-ass project tricks?”

  “Look,” he said, “don’t be saying no dumb shit like that in front of my daughter. And hell nah, I ain’t fucking nobody. Now, I’m getting ready to hang up on your stupid ass!”

  “Yeah, you think I’m stupid,” I yelled back at him and then hung up.

  Trying to calm myself down after the episode with my husband, I did a detour in the direction of Fredrica’s house. To my surprise, Fredrica remained quiet the entire drive. I did notice her rolling her eyes at me when I was talking smack to her daddy on the phone, though. And I knew she was gonna run and tell her mama what Ricky and I were fussing about. But who the fuck cared? I knew that hooker better not say shit to me about it.

  When I pulled into Robert’s Park Housing Projects, I circled around the loop to get to Fredrica’s building. As I drove up in front of the apartment door, I started blowing my car horn. Fredrica immediately grabbed her shopping bags and got out of the car. The little wench didn’t even say goodbye. As I waited for her mama to open up their front door, this young-looking guy, driving an old 1995 Mazda 929 with tinted windows, pulled up in front of me and started beeping his horn, too. Now Frances must’ve heard him, because her ghetto ass came flying out her front door. When she saw Fredrica walking up the sidewalk toward her, she stopped in her tracks.

  “What you doing back so fast?” I heard her ask Fredrica.

  I couldn’t hear what Fredrica was saying, but I clearly heard Frances’ big-ass mouth.

  “Oh, hell nah! You going right back to your daddy. He knows he’s supposed to have you today! Shit, I’m getting ready to go somewhere,” she yelled.

  Then she started stepping in the direction of my car, pulling Fredrica by her arm. As Frances began to walk toward me, I wondered what in the hell did Ricky see in this chick? I mean, what possessed him to cheat on me with this trash? She wasn’t all that cute. Especially with that whack-ass weave job. Her gear looked outdated. I mean, who still wore Crest jeans? Nobody I hung out with. It couldn’t be her booty, ‘cause my ass was bigger. So what in the hell was it? To top it off, Frances tried to rock a fake-ass pair of Manolo Blahnik Timbs, knowing dag-on well she copped them from the Koreans.

  “Where’s Ricky?” she asked once she approached my car.

  “He’s somewhere taking care of business,” I told her in an even tone.

  “Well, he think he’s slick by getting you to drop Fredrica back off to me.”

  “Look Frances, he didn’t tell me nothing about he was supposed to have her today. All he told me to do was take her to the mall. And then when we were done shopping, he told me to bring her home.”

  “Ricky’s a lying muthafucka! He knew I had something to do today.”

  “Look, I’m just the messenger. So, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

  “Come on Fredrica!” Frances said to her daughter, snatching her by the arm. “‘Cause I know this bitch lying for him.” She continued talking as her words drifted from the direction in which she was walking.

  After I listened to every single word Frances muttered outta her mouth, I just sat in the driver seat of my car, pissed off. I was completely about to lose it. I mean, what gave this tramp the right to have an attitude? Shit, I’m the one who should’ve had the attitude. She fucked around with my husband and got pregnant, not the other way around. So why was she marching her broke ass ‘round here like I owed her something? And talking shit at that! I wanted so badly to put my car in drive and run right over her and her grown-assed daughter. But, I remained a lady and brushed the name calling off my shoulders and took a deep breath. Besides, I didn’t want to mess up my brand new Lexus putting both of their asses into the hospital. I blew my horn to get Frances’ attention. When she looked dead at me, I smiled and said, “I’ll let my husband know what you said.”

  “Well, tell him I said to kiss my ass while you at it!” she yelled back.

  “Okay!” I responded.

  When I took off to leave, I drove slowly just to get a look at this nigga Frances was trying to leave with. As my car passed his, he turned in my direction. He was really handsome, but he looked broke as hell with a pair of those one hundred–dollar, clustered, diamond chip earrings the Arabs sold at the mall. And he had a mouthful of gold fronts, wearing a dingy-looking wife-beater. I smiled at him and kept right on driving.

  Change Of Plans

  I drove to my cousin Nikki’s house immediately after I dropped Fredrica off to her mama. Nikki was about two years younger than me and very pretty. She was single with no kids and a college student at Norfolk State University. Most niggas who worked for Ricky were in love with her. But, she wasn’t thinking about their asses. Besides, she was involved with her sorority on campus and she was green as hell to the game. So why even bother with the cats that created it? Sounded logical to me.

  When Nikki let me into her one-bedroom condo, she had an exhausted look on her face.

  “What’s wrong wit’you?” I asked her.

  “I’m just so sick of all these bills I’ve got,” she confessed as she walked over to a table in her kitchen.

  “Are you behind?”

  “Yeah.”

  “On what?” I asked as I took a seat beside her.

  “My car payment. My Visa. And my student loans.”

  “How much you need?”

  “About six large.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it for you.”

  “Girl, thanks. I’mma pay you back when my next financial aid check come.”

  “Damn that financial aid. Your butt needs a job.”

  “I know. But I can’t work with the school schedule and sorority meetings I got this semester.”

  “Why don’t you come down to my shop a few days a week? We could use another shampoo person.”

  “How much you gon’ pay me?”

  “How much will you need?”

  “Pay me five large a week and I’ll do it.”

  “Shit, you must be on drugs if you think I’m gon’ give you that type of dough to come be my assistant a few days a week.”

  “Okay, how about three large?”

  “How about two?”

  “Alright. That’s cool,” Nikki agree
d.

  She and I continued chatting until an hour and a half passed and my cell phone started ringing.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Where you at?” Ricky sounded like he was uptight about something.

  “Nikki’s house. Why?”

  “Have you been in my shoe box behind the refrigerator?”

  “Nah. I didn’t even know you had a shoe box hidden back there.”

  “Yeah. A’ight!” Ricky replied, as if he wasn’t at all convinced.

  “Are you at the house now?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, I’m at the house. Why?”

  “Are you getting ready to go back out?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “‘Cause, I’m hungry and I’m ready to go out to eat. That’s why!”

  “Well, if you hungry now, then won’t you and Nikki go out and get something to eat?”

  “Yeah, whatever!” I told him and then I ended the conversation. I threw my phone back into my handbag and looked back in Nikki’s direction.

  “And what did he want this time?” she asked me.

  “He just wanted to know had I been in his shoe box he had stashed behind the refrigerator.”

  “Is he missing something?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What was in it?”

  “A whole bunch of money.”

  “Money?” Nikki shouted in a loud chuckle. “Oh yeah, your ass been in it!” She continued to laugh.

  “Yep, I sho’ have. And if he don’t hurry up and hide it in another spot, I’mma hit it again.”

  “How much he be having in it?”

  “I never had a chance to count it. But, it looked like it could be anywhere from forty to fifty Gs.”

  “Girl, you’ve got to be kidding!”

  “No, I’m not. And that’s just his play money. That’s why I be tearing his fucking head off every chance I get. And you know what’s so crazy?”

  “What?”

  “I don’t even feel bad after I do it. And you wanna know why?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “Because of all the shit he’s put me through. I just feel like he owes me whatever I decide to take from him.”

  “Do you think he know you be stealing from him?”

  “He might. And he may even hint around about it. But he know I would straight flip out on his ass if he tried to accuse me of anything. So, you know he’ll just throw it out there and let me know he knows. But I don’t be paying his ass no mind.”

  “Kira, you are off the chain!” Nikki told me.

  “Fuck him! I mean, he don’t give a damn about me! So, I’m just gon’ do me. And if it means to plan for a rainy day with his dough, then that’s how it’s gon’ be!”

  “So, you’re planning to leave Ricky?”

  “Yeah. One day.”

  “Girl, you ain’t going nowhere.”

  “You ain’t gotta believe me. But, you’ll see.” I switched the topic from my dysfunctional marriage. “Wanna go and get something to eat?” I continued.

  “Go where?”

  “I don’t care. Just as long as you make up your mind in the next two minutes.”

  “Okay. Well, come on. We can decide that in the car.”

  “Well, let’s go.”

  Nikki and I decided to go to the Outback Steak House. We were in the mood to grill our own steaks but, more than that, that place had good mixed drinks. As we were having dinner, a few local hustlers came through with either their girlfriends or a trick they were planning on banging after her belly was full. One guy in particular, who went by the name Gerald, came through with this chick named, Velda. Gerald was a known weed man. He was about thirty-two or thirty-three, so, he’d been in the game for a minute. He had about a dozen weed spots all around Norfolk and P-town, so everybody knew that his money was long. And everybody and their mama was trying to fuck him. That alone made Gerald think he was the man. Velda was very pretty and a known booster. She could steal anything of value. I remember her coming into my salon about a month ago, trying to sell me and Sunshine these two gorgeous Hèrmes pink diamond watches she had just picked up. Now I can’t tell you how the hell she was able to pull that one off, but she did.

  Seeing these two crooks together was like seeing Bonnie and Clyde in a new day and time. I gave her credit that night because she was definitely rocking that B. Michael top with the slacks to match. I waved at the both of them when they walked by our table.

  On my way out, I ran into this nigga I used to fuck with, named Quincy. He rolled up in a silver 2005 seven series BMW with D.C. tags, sitting on twenty-two inch chrome rims, with some chick I ain’t seen around here before. Knowing him, she was probably from Baltimore, MD or the DC area. The way she was dressed put her in a class with the chicks who went to Howard University. Quincy looked like he had lost a few pounds from when he and I used to kick it back in the day. He must’ve tightened his joint up while he did that ten-year bid at the fed spot in Petersburg. He’d been home for about a year now. And just like that, this nigga was right back on his feet, rocking a hot Sean John sweatsuit and a set of jewels he must’ve copped from a custom diamond jeweler.

  “What’s up?” Quincy said as he approached me and Nikki, with his chick on his side.

  “What’s up wit’ you?” I asked.

  “Nuttin’. Just chilling!”

  “Well, are you gon’ introduce your friend?”

  “Oh yeah. This is my girl, C-c-chelsea,” he stuttered.

  “Hi, Chelsea,” I said.

  “Hi,” she replied.

  “I’m Kira and this is my cousin, Nikki.”

  “Nice to meet you guys,” she continued.

  “Same here,” I told her. “So, how you been doing?” I focused my attention back on Quincy.

  Before he answered me, he ushered Chelsea into the restaurant to get them a table.

  “I’m doing a’ight. How ‘boutcha self?” he finally responded.

  “I’m okay.”

  “How’s married life treating you?”

  “It ain’t no different from having a boyfriend, because, I’ve still gotta deal wit’ the hoes.”

  Quincy laughed at my comment. “You ain’t changed one bit,” he said.

  “Yes, I have.”

  “Had any kids yet?”

  “Nope.”

  “You still do hair?”

  “Yeah. I own a salon off Newtown Road.”

  “What’s the name of it?”

  “Millennium Styles.”

  “Can I come by there and holla at you sometimes?”

  “Nah. That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “‘Cause for one, I ain’t trying to let you run into Ricky. And two, the chicks who work in my shop talk too much as it is. Which is why I don’t need no mo’ drama!”

  “Well, can I call you sometime?”

  “Why? I mean, what in the hell could we possibly talk about?”

  “Us.”

  “Nigga, you ain’t changed a bit.”

  “Yeah, I have.”

  “In what way?” I asked him.

  “Well, I got a little mo’ dough to spread around. And now, I eat pussy.”

  Hearing Quincy tell me he ate pussy nearly blew my damn mind. Me and Nikki’s mouths flew wide open. I laughed it off and said, “Too bad you ain’t never got the chance to lick on mine.”

  “It ain’t never too late.”

  “Oh trust me, it’s way too late!” I told him, as I stepped backwards. “You better save that tongue of yours for Ms. Thang in there.” I pointed in the direction of the restaurant.

  “So, it’s like that?”

  “Quincy, you know it’s been like that since the day I decided I ain’t want to play your games no mo’!”

  “You know I still love you!”

  “Yeah, right,” I told him, blowing him off, as I started walking in the direction of my car.

  I walked all the way to my car in disbelief after my encounter with
Quincy.

  “That nigga ain’t gon’ ever change,” I told Nikki after I started up the ignition.

  “When were you going out with him? ‘Cause, I don’t remember him,” Nikki inquired.

  “We weren’t together long, that’s why.”

  “Where you meet him at?”

  “I met his ass at the Casablanca Night Club in Norfolk, back in ’89. And he was a trip back then.”

  “What you mean, he was a trip?”

  “Well, see, the thing about him was, he had plenty of dough, but he couldn’t dress for the life of him. And the hoes knew it. I mean, they were on him like flies on shit. As a matter of fact, the night I met him, he had some chick he was fucking wit’, there wit’ him.”

  “For real?”

  “Girl, this fool was straight bugging out. Buying everybody I was wit’ drinks and shit. And the whole time, he acted like she wasn’t even there.”

  “It couldn’t have been me!”

  “Shit, me either!”

  “So, how ya’ll hook up?”

  “Well, after the club, he got one of his peoples to give me his number. I called him the next day and we met up at the Applebee’s on Virginia Beach Boulevard. We had some drinks and ordered some food.”

  “How long after that day did you fuck him?”

  “It took me about two weeks before I let him hit it.”

  “So, why ya’ll stopped messing around?”

  “Well, because he couldn’t keep his butt still. He was always back home in D.C. And we never really got to spend together. And then on top of that, he had too many hoes for me. Plus, he had too much shit wit’ him.”

  “What you mean?”

  “Well, when we used to go out in public together, he would never want us to hang out in certain places like the Hampton Coliseum Mall or any of the IHOPs.”

  “Did he say why?”

  “Yeah, he said he just had some bad experiences in those places. But I ain’t believe that shit! I knew he was trying to keep us from bumping into one of his other hoes. So, to get away from all his drama, I told him to carry his ass!”

  “I would’ve done the same thing,” Nikki told me.

  Our conversation about Quincy came to an end when I reached Nikki’s apartment. She was ready to turn in. I told her I would holla at her in the a.m. She told me that was cool and sent me on my way.