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  $$$ The Delivery $$$

  It was a Monday morning, but it felt like a Sunday for me since I ain’t have to go to the shop that day. I got up about nine-thirty, so I could watch some of my favorite Court TV shows. I fixed myself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and tore ‘em up. Being as though Ricky didn’t come in the house last night until after I fell asleep, the first I heard of his voice was around noon time. And that’s because his cell phone started ringing. After hearing him scream through the phone for about ten minutes, I finally figured out he was talking to Remo. And from Ricky’s tone, I figured Remo either screwed up a delivery or the money count was off, because Ricky was chewing his ass out.

  “That nigga can’t do shit right!” Ricky yelled as he slammed his cell phone down onto the coffee table.

  “What happened now?” I asked him.

  “Remo is forever fucking up.”

  “What he do?”

  “Yo, this nigga gots to be the dumbest nigga I know.”

  “What he do?” Again, I asked.

  “He fucked up my delivery.”

  “How he do that?”

  “He was supposed to get his girl Pam to drop off some work to three of my spots early this morning, out P-Town. But, since he didn’t go to the crib last night, she told him she wasn’t doing shit.”

  “Well, tell ’em to get the chick he was chilling wit’ to do it.”

  “For real. Right now, at this moment, I don’t give a fuck who does it. Just as long as it gets done.”

  “Make Remo do it.”

  “Hell nah! Remo too hot! I can’t risk losing two bricks behind his ass.”

  “So, what you gon’ do?”

  “I’m trying to figure that out.”

  “Who usually does it?”

  “Damn, what is this? Twenty questions?” Ricky snapped at me.

  “Well, I was just trying to help,” I yelled back.

  “Well, help me by finding somebody to run this food over to my spots.”

  “How much you paying?”

  “One yard for each drop off.”

  “So, that’s three hundred,” I said, holding up three fingers.

  “Why, you know somebody?” Ricky asked, desperately.

  “I might.”

  “Well, find out. Shit, call ’em!”

  “But wait. Before I call her, she gon’ want to know when you want this done.”

  “Tell her, now.”

  “She gon’ wanna know how she gon’ have to carry it, too.”

  “Wait, hold up! Who you getting ready to call?”

  “I’mma call Nikki.”

  “Well, look Kira, just see if she gon’ do it first. I’ll get into all that wit’ her when I see her.”

  Trying to be a trooper and help my husband hold his shit down, I got on my cell phone and called Nikki. I briefly told her about the job and how much she could get from doing it. She agreed to do it, so I told her to come by my crib a.s.a.p. She arrived about thirty-five minutes after I hung up the phone with her. This dude name Shampoo pulled up about five minutes after Nikki did. Ricky had Shampoo drop off the tools Nikki needed to successfully complete the job. Shampoo dropped a large black duffle bag onto the coffee table and headed back out the front door.

  “I gotta carry all that?” I heard Nikki ask Ricky.

  “Nah. What you got to carry ain’t this big.”

  “So, what’s all this?” Nikki wanted to know.

  Ricky unzipped the duffle bag and pulled out all the stuff in it.

  “What’s all that stuff?”

  “This is the stuff you gon’ use,” Ricky told Nikki.

  I took a seat in the dining room, which was only a couple of feet away from my living room, and watched Ricky put his plan to work.

  Nikki was told she was gonna wear the red pizza delivery T-shirt and cap. Ricky also told her she was gonna drive her car with the delivery sign bolted down on the roof of her car. And the three packages she was going to deliver would be duct-taped down inside the three pizza boxes.

  “So, when am I gonna get paid?” she asked Ricky.

  “When you take the pizza boxes to each house. Whoever answers the door is gon’ pay you after you hand them the box.”

  “That’s it? I mean, that’s all I gotta do?”

  “Yep. That’s it.”

  “Well, I’m ready,” Nikki said, anxiously.

  Just like Ricky had anticipated, everything went smoothly. Everybody, including Nikki, got what they wanted, so making that trip was kind of easy. It felt so easy, Nikki became Ricky’s permanent driver. And by the week’s end, my cousin started pulling in nothing less than a grand or more. That alone sent the idea of her being my assistant at the salon right out the window. She got caught up on all her credit cards and she even paid her little Honda Accord off sooner. Now, after about two mouths of being on Ricky’s payroll, I began to notice a change in Nikki’s personality. Her attitude started getting really snotty. And then she started fucking around with Brian, Ricky’s right-hand man.

  When I found that shit out, I nearly flipped. I tried to school her about this nigga and about all his hoes, but she wasn’t trying to hear me. And judging from how defensive she was getting, I knew he had already put the dick on her. Yeah, my cousin was sprung over this nigga already. I guess what everybody said about him was true. Too bad a bitch like me couldn’t find out. And quiet as kept, I never told Nikki how I desired to fuck him. I couldn’t tell her because the instant I spilled the beans about that, she was gonna swear up and down that I was trying to throw a monkey wrench in her shit. So, I kept my mouth closed and let her be a big girl. The least I could do was be happy for her.

  For Ballers Only

  Once a year around Christmas time, this cat named Bishop threw a soiree for niggas he know that be holding shit down like Bill Gates. I’d been to every one of his parties and he be making sure his shit was on point. Bishop was a rich-ass cat from outta Newport News, who be having his hands in everything. Everybody knew him. He sold everything from drugs to real estate. I heard some people say he had a couple of attorneys and po-pos on his payroll, just so he could keep his ass on the streets. I also heard he lived in one of them two-million-dollar cribs out in Williamsburg. Only a handful of niggas done seen it. Bishop was a razzle-dazzle type of cat. In the daytime, he could be found at a golf course and at night, he could be found at any of them award shows you saw on TV. I never saw him with none of the local tramps ‘round here. He be on them model types like Naomi Campbell and Shakira. And he made sure they were on point, too.

  So tonight I made sure I was on point as well. When me and Ricky walked through the double doors of the hotel ballroom, every eye in the place was on us. And the fact that we were wearing his-and-hers Harlequin mink jackets, turned the heat up real high. But since Bishop was the host of this party, he wasn’t about to let no one else outshine him. That’s why when he finally made his entrance; he walked up in the spot wearing a silver Russian sable. And just like us, everybody had their eyes glued to him, too. This, of course, had to be flattering because Bishop was smiling from ear to ear.

  After he had soaked up all the attention he could hold, Bishop pulled his head back down from out of the clouds and realized Ricky was sitting at a table among the crowd. He came on over with this cat named Papi walking alongside of him, to pay his respects and then he walked off so he could greet his other guests.

  However Papi, who used to do business with Ricky back in the day, took a seat at our table. Then he and Ricky started talking. I couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, but I knew it couldn’t be about anything legal because Papi was like an uncle to Ricky. He basically put Ricky on his feet and introduced him to the connect Ricky got now with these gangsters from South America. Every now and then, they’ll get together with some of the older Spanish heads to play dominoes for a little play money.

  After only sitting down for two minutes, Ricky and Papi jumped into a deep-ass conversation. All was left for me to do was sit back, look gorgeous, and sip on my glass of Taittinger.

  From the looks of the crowd, it seemed like anybody who ever did a few plucks in their life was there with either their wifey or baby mama, dressed in their most expensive attire. I mingled with a few chicks I knew who messed with the cats that worked for Ricky. This one chick named Sandy, who had a baby by Mike, watched Ricky almost the whole night. Ricky smiled at her a few times, but he kind of brushed her off. He probably did that because he saw me peeping all her moves. I ain’t trip, though; But I did question Sandy’s ass about it when we were in the bathroom together. And like I thought, she denied even doing it. She probably thought her half-breed ass was gonna get Ricky to bite at her bait. However, I made it known that I wasn’t having it. She must’ve taken heed to what I said, because I ain’t have no problems from her for the rest of the night.

  Now around eleven-thirty, Quincy decided it was time for him to make his appearance. He stepped in the place wearing all the ice he owned and this proper shit by Armani. The chick he had walking in beside him was Chelsea, the same chick from the restaurant back a couple months ago. She must’ve been doing something right, ‘cause Quincy wasn’t in the business of keeping the same woman around for too long. Chelsea was small and petite, like he liked his women, but that dress she wore looked truly hideous. I didn’t care who the designer was; the shit looked bad. Maybe before the night was over, I’d give her the number to my tailor.

  Now since Ricky and Quincy knew each other, I had to go into my fake mode. I mean, Ricky would scream on me if he caught me within one foot of Quincy, being as though me and him used to fuck around. So, I’ve got to act like I didn’t even know he was here. That also meant avoiding eye contact at all times. This only meant I would put my peripheral vision in overdrive just in case Quincy decided to look in my direction. That’s when I was gon’ strike a pose for his ass and make sho’ I showed off the diamond bracelet Ricky got for me not too long ago.

  Before the night was over, I was able to sip a few more glasses of Taittinger and get an earful of Ricky and Papi’s plans to make a few more plucks together. On our way out, Ricky and I said our goodbyes and headed on home. By the time we made it into the driveway, it was almost four a.m. I was real tired and so was Ricky but after we got in bed, he made sure he got his nut off. He damn near tried to kill me, the way he was jumping up and down on me. It wasn’t nothing but all that Armadale he’d been drinking the whole night, which had him like that. Sometimes I liked the drunk dick, but tonight I really wasn’t feeling it. After Ricky’s usual three-to four-minute playtime was up; I turned over and went right to sleep.

  ***

  The next day kind of started off slowly. First of all, I woke up late and after I noticed it was one o’clock in the afternoon, I still couldn’t pull myself out of bed. To my surprise, Ricky had already gotten up and left. I knew he wasn’t nowhere else but on the streets, checking on his money. I picked up the phone from the nightstand and called him up. This time, he ain’t answer his phone. His voicemail came on the first ring. That meant his ass turned it off. Ricky knew I got crazy when he turned his cell phone off. He had no other reason to turn it off except that he was out there creeping, and he didn’t want me interrupting him by calling and asking him a lot of questions. I already knew what he was gonna say when he stepped through the front door because his famous line was, “Damn baby, I didn’t hear the phone ring,” or “My battery went dead. That’s why it was off.” I always replied, “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,” and walked in the opposite direction. I did that to keep from smacking the cowboy shit outta him.

  After I hung up the phone, I got out of my bed and headed to the shower. On my way out, I heard my cell phone ringing, so I threw a towel around me and rushed back into my bedroom to get it.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Hey, Kira,” Nikki said.

  “Yeah.”

  “I gotta problem.”

  “What’s wrong, Nikki?”

  “I got a couple of fucking narcos following me down Granby Street.”

  “How long they been behind you?”

  “Ever since I dropped off the first package.”

  “How many you got left?”

  “Two.”

  “Well, just stay calm and do the speed limit.”

  “I’m doing that.”

  “Well, just keep driving.”

  “And go where?” Nikki asked me. She was starting to panic.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why don’t you call Ricky on three-way and ask him what he wants me to do?”

  “I just tried calling him right before you called, but he didn’t answer. He turned his cellie off.”

  “Shit!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know what the hell to do, ‘cause I can’t drop these other two packages off.”

  “Nah, you sho’ can’t. They’ll really have a reason to mess wit’ you, then.”

  “Oh shit! It’s too late!”

  “What they doing?”

  “They just turned on their blue lights.”

  “You sure it’s for you?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  “Okay. Don’t panic. Just calm down.”

  “Kira,” Nikki’s voice started trembling, “I know I’m going to jail, now.”

  “Look Nikki, don’t say that. Just stay calm and please don’t let them search your car.”

  “What am I supposed to say?”

  “If they ask you, just ask them if they got a search warrant.”

  “And what if they got one?”

  “If they had one, they wouldn’t have been following you all this time.”

  “They’re getting outta their car.”

  “Where they pull you over at?”

  “I’m over here by 35th Street and the Norfolk Zoo.”

  “Well, hold on, I’mma call Ricky back on three way and see if he’ll answer his cell this time.”

  “Please do something!” Nikki pleaded.

  “Okay. Hold on,” I told her.

  Hearing my cousin like that got me pretty upset. Hearing her wanting to just cry out to me, and me not being able to do anything to help her, really made me feel helpless. I knew deep down inside Nikki wasn’t built to handle what them narcos was about to dish out to her. I just hope she held up and didn’t give them a reason to search the car.

  Meanwhile, I started dialing Ricky’s cell phone again, hoping this time he would answer. As I suspected, he still had it turned off. I clicked back over to Nikki, but she had already hung up. That’s when I nearly lost it.

  The fact that Nikki was about to go to jail got my stomach upset. I sat there numb, not knowing what else to do. Yet I knew in the back of my mind I had to do something. I got back on my cell phone and dialed up Brian’s cell number. I mean, if anybody could get in touch with Ricky, it would be him, since they had that two-way radio shit.

  “Yo, who this?” Brian answered.

  “This is Kira, Brian. I’m trying to get in touch wit’ Ricky. So, can you call him over your radio for me?”

  “I just tried to call him ‘cause I got this youngen wit’ me that’s trying to holla at him. But, he must’ve had his radio off, ‘cause he ain’t responding.”

  “Outta all the times this nigga wanna turn his phone off!” I said, frustrated.

  “What’s up?” Brian asked me.

  “Nikki just called me and told me a couple of narcos got her pulled over out Norfolk.”

  “What?!” Brian shouted.

  “Yep. I just tried calling Ricky on his cell phone, so he could tell her what to do. But he turned his shit off. That’s why I called you.”

  “Did she say how much food she had on her?”

  “Yeah. She said she only dropped off one box.”

  “Ahh man! That means she still got two of them joints left.”

  “Yep.”

  “Where they got her at?”

  “Over there off 35th Street, by the Norfolk Zoo.”

  “A’ight. I’mma hit you back.”

  “What, you going by there?”

  “Nah. I’mma send somebody else.”

  “Well, call me back after you hear something.”

  “A’ight.”

  The Test

  I got up and got dressed after I hung up with Brian. Since it took him too long to call me back with an update, I decided to drive uptown myself and hopefully be able to find out what was going on. By the time I got there, Nikki was nowhere in sight. Not even a crowd of people was out there. I pulled out my phone and tried calling her cell phone, but it just kept ringing. This, of course, got me really worried.

  The knots in my stomach started jumping around like crazy. Then I pictured Nikki handcuffed in a cold room by herself, waiting for them narcos to ask her a whole bunch of questions about who she was working for.

  Boy! Boy! Boy! I sure hoped, for her sake, she didn’t go up in there talking crazy. Ricky would go the hell off if he found out Nikki snitched on him. And what the hell could I do about it? Shit, he was my husband and she was family. I couldn’t turn my back on her. I mean, me and Nikki was brought up together. We used to sleep in the same bed growing up. And most of all, we were blood. So, I had to make this shit right.

  After getting my thoughts together, I put my feet on the gas pedal and drove straight to my salon. It was a Monday, and nobody was supposed to be working. I knew I could make a few phone calls there without any interruptions.

  Now it normally took me anywhere from twenty to twenty-five minutes to drive from uptown to my shop, but somehow I made it there in fifteen. During that time, I was able to think of everybody possible to call about Nikki’s situation. Before I could dial out on my cell, it started ringing. I looked at the caller ID to see if I recognized the number, but it didn’t show up. I started not to answer, but something told me to answer just in case it was Nikki.

  “Hello,” I said as I took a seat in one of my salon chairs.

  “You just called for Nikki?” a man asked me.

  Now, I ain’t gonna lie. Hearing this unfamiliar voice scared the shit out of me. And to know it was a cracker, ain’t make me feel any better. I asked him who the hell he was, asking me if I was calling for Nikki.