Property of the State Read online

  “Everybody, this bitch that lives in this apartment had something to do with my brother’s death,” one of his sisters had yelled.

  “She sure did, and we ain’t going to let her get away with it either!” Terrell’s mother had followed up.

  “She better turn herself in to the cops, because if she doesn’t, I’m going to beat her ass!” Terrell’s other sister yelled.

  “Could y’all take that somewhere else?” I heard a different voice say.

  By looking through Mrs. Mabel’s peephole, I couldn’t see who the person was, so I raced over to the window to see if I could get a better look. I saw that my neighbor that lived on the opposite side of my apartment was the source of the voice.

  “And if we don’t, what’s going to happen?” Terrell’s cousin had challenged my neighbor.

  “Yeah, what are you going to do? Call the police,” Terrell’s mother had interjected.

  “Listen, lady, you guys are disturbing the peace,” my neighbor had replied.

  “The chick that lives in this apartment disturbed our peace when she murdered my brother.”

  “Yeah, what do you have to say about that?” Terrell’s mother chimed in.

  “Look, I’m sorry to hear about your brother. But the cops have been all over this apartment complex asking everyone if they seen that lady. And none of us have, so what you need to do is get behind the cops that’re investigating your brother’s case and take that stuff up with them. Hanging out in front of her apartment door isn’t going to bring your brother back,” he had said.

  “We understand what you’re saying, but you can’t tell a person how to mourn a deceased family member,” Terrell’s cousin had said.

  “You’re absolutely right. But as a resident, I felt like I had to tell you guys that you’re going about all of this the wrong way. That’s all.” His tone had turned sympathetic.

  “We appreciate what you’re saying,” Mrs. Mason had responded.

  I had peeped the sorrow in her eyes.

  “Oh, no problem, ma’am! Now y’all have a nice day,” my neighbor had said, and then he walked off.

  A few minutes later, Terrell’s mother, sisters, and his cousin all walked back toward the parking area of the apartment complex. I watched them until they climbed into a black Cadillac SUV and sped off.

  My whole body had relaxed with relief. I literally had to wipe the sweat trickling down from my forehead. I knew then that as long as I lived, getting revenge for Terrell was all they would focus on.

  * * *

  I blinked away the nightmarish memories to the sound of the judge screaming. I was sick to my stomach and I didn’t know how much more I could take with these nightmares and memories and threats.

  “Order!” the judge yelled again as the crowd in the courtroom murmured about the outburst. “Order!”

  Thank God things quieted down.

  “Let’s get back to the matter at hand. Ms. Heiress, do you wish to speak?” the judge continued, giving me the nod to speak my last words.

  “Yes, Your Honor, I have something to say. Everyone wants to blame me for what happened, but I was a victim too. I didn’t kill anyone intentionally,” I said.

  I could feel my attorney, shifting next to me.

  “What are you doing?” he whispered harshly in my ear.

  He knew, then, that I was not going to read the statement he had prepared for me. He also knew I was probably about to undo the guilty plea by now saying I wasn’t guilty, after all.

  My lawyer lifted his hand up to interrupt me. “Judge, I need a minute with my client—” my attorney started to say.

  “Sit the fuck down! I have something to say,” I boomed. I was not letting anyone else in the world speak for me. I had done that all of my life.

  The judge seemed a little thrown off by the power of my voice. “Order!” he yelled, and banged his gavel again. “Keep it respectful, Ms. Heiress. Counsel, sit down. Now, go ahead, Ms. Heiress.”

  “I regret everything that has happened, but I want everyone to know that I am a victim myself. No one knows my story,” I said, choking back tears. “No one knows the abuse I suffered and the things I endured. It was my life hanging in the balance, so I can be judged by all of you . . . but I know what I had to do. None of you were there in the moments when I saw my life flashing before my eyes. Nobody was there to save me, but myself. You can believe whatever you want to believe, but I know the truth and so does God. I can’t be judged by any of you, and I will have to face my Creator one day.”

  It was so quiet in the courtroom, you could probably hear a mouse pissing on a cotton ball. I had everyone’s full attention now.

  In the end, my whole story about Terrell’s attack and my defense of myself had fallen on deaf ears. The judge still sentenced me to twenty years to life, but threw me a bone when he said with the possibility of parole after ten years’ consecutive time served. I was to begin my sentence in a maximum-security state prison immediately.

  My mother had screamed and cried at the end, but there was nothing that I could do, except pray. I had heard all sorts of things about those maximum-security prisons, and none of it was good. The court officers moved to my side to take me out of the courtroom, and reality finally hit me. I dropped and my whole world went black.

  4

  STATE PROPERTY

  The day had come, and I was set to be transferred from county to the maximum-security state prison. I’d heard so many things about parts of the prison being privatized, and using inmates for slave labor and other things. My nerves were on edge about it all.

  I approached Sandra. The thought of me getting cool with someone in jail made me feel worse than the sentence I had received. No one liked to be locked up, but to make friends made it a bit easier to do your time. I had no idea what I would encounter in a new facility. It just all gave me anxiety, if I was being honest.

  Sandra was sitting on her bunk when I walked into her cell, which I wasn’t supposed to do. That’s one of the rules imposed on all the inmates in the county jail. But this was important.

  “I’m about to be out of here,” I said sadly. “Thank you for everything you did for me, especially the protection you provided me while I was in here.”

  “Don’t mention it. I’m never going to forget about you, Misty, so don’t be sad. I got a few more weeks in here. They had to drop the charges against me . . . again,” Sandra said proudly.

  “Damn, you’re one lucky bitch, I’ll tell you that,” I replied.

  I don’t know how someone who used jail like a revolving door kept getting off, and this was my first time and I got the entire criminal justice book thrown at my ass. The Commonwealth of Virginia’s justice system was crooked as hell. They let who they want out of jail and keep the ones that may want to turn their lives around. No shade to Sandra, but she’s a liability. And I’m the one that the cops and the judges want to keep behind bars because they’re afraid that if I get the chance, I wouldn’t come back to this shit box.

  “Yeah, I am! So I’m sorry that you had to take the fall for that shit that happened to that no-good–ass nigga. You’re a good person, Misty. Keep your head up,” Sandra said. “They can try, but usually they can’t keep a good bitch down. I speak from experience. You’ll have your day. Wait and see.”

  I fought back tears. I didn’t realize just how much I was going to miss Sandra. She had really looked out for me and had become a good sounding board when I needed to vent and talk about shit that had happened in my life. She was a good person, despite her coming in and out of the system like she had for most of her life. It’s apparent that she was dealing with her own demons. But when it came to me, she kept it one hundred from the door.

  “Look, don’t fret. I know you’re worried about your mother out there. Whatever you want me to do for you when I get back in the world, you know I got you,” Sandra said, smiling. “Commit my digits to memory and never forget them. I’m always going to be around and I want to hear from you
too. Don’t make me come looking for you,” Sandra said sincerely, followed by a little chuckle.

  I knew she was dead serious. We had really gotten tight.

  “That is so sweet, thank you,” I said, truly touched.

  “The one thing I want you to do is be smart, Misty. Here, read this whole shit right here. Take your rec time and go to the law library, whatever you have to do. This is what helped me and a few bitches I know beat cases, get early release. It’s the key to finding holes in the system. The only way to beat this corrupt-ass system is with knowledge. Knowledge is power, you hear me? Nothing else works. You have to beat them at their own game. Don’t waste this! Read it and understand it,” Sandra said, tossing a thick packet of papers at me.

  I picked them up and could tell they were legal papers as soon as I read the first few words. So this is how this slick chick been getting off, I thought. From day one, I could tell Sandra was like the jail lawyer. She was always spitting about cases getting overturned on illegal searches and lack of rights, but I always just figured Sandra was like the tons of other inmates who thought they knew the system. Obviously, judging from the fact that she had already beat a murder charge, I knew she was on to something. I had better get like Sandra and start researching how I was going to get myself out of this mess I was in.

  “Don’t just throw that shit away, Misty. You better read that shit. I’m telling you, there might be something between them pages that will save your ass one of these days,” Sandra said, her tone serious and motherly.

  “You know what, there is something you can do for me when you get out. I want to know it’s done, so maybe we can write to each other after I get settled. I just need a good address for you.”

  “Sounds good. I got you. Just say the word and it’s a done deal. Shit, especially if it’s something that’ll put your mind at ease while you do your bid,” Sandra replied.

  “Promise,” I said seriously.

  “Promise,” Sandra said sincerely. “Anything you need, I got you for real. Just keep my number, and like I said, remember it, because chances are they’re going to take all your shit from you and you won’t have the paper later. And I just wanted to thank you too. Misty, you was one of the first chicks I ever met locked up that didn’t judge me at first and make me feel like some freak. You have no idea how many bitches I meet that judge me and think I’m some devious chick.”

  “Aw, thanks for saying that,” I said.

  Sandra jumped down and pulled me in for a hug. We held each other in a long embrace. I whispered in her ear what I needed her to do for me. I was sniffling back the snot that threatened to escape my nose, but Sandra’s face was dry. I knew she would miss me, but she was the type that did not like to cry. Plus, Sandra was happy as hell she had beat her case and would be released into the world to get into more mischief. Boy, what I would do to be in her shoes. To have a chance to leave prison and go back into the world. My life would be so different this time around.

  “C’mon, don’t be crying and shit. You making me sad, when a bitch like me supposed to be jumping for joy. I told you, you gon’ be all right. If you would just listen to me and read that shit I gave you, you will be joining me soon,” Sandra mentioned.

  We let each other go and I swiped at the tears on my face. “I’m sorry for being emotional. This jail and prison shit is not for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet a person like you while I’m doing all these years of time. I’m going to miss the bitch that made my days doing this time easier,” I said, smiling at Sandra. “Just be good out there and don’t end up back inside. You seem to have nine lives, but as we all know, even those run out,” I said.

  “I hear you. A bitch like me gon’ always be good. I’m not new to this, I’m true to this,” Sandra said, chuckling. “You know the first thing I’m going to do when I hit the world is take care of what you asked me. I’m not going to let you down, Misty. For real, I never had a female friend before I met you. I never got along with chicks unless I was trying to fuck them, but you were different from day one. I’m your true friend,” Sandra told me.

  That touched my heart. Outside of my cousin Jillian, I never really had female friends either. I never trusted anyone, but for some reason, there seemed to be something more genuine about Sandra. I guess doing time together could make the most unlikely of people formulate a bond.

  “Heiress! Get out of this cell. You know better! Y’all must want to get violated!” a male CO screamed.

  Sandra smiled at me one last time. “She’s coming, fat ass!” Sandra snapped at the CO. We both laughed.

  “Make sure you stay in touch and don’t make me have to come looking for your ass,” Sandra called over her shoulder. “Remember that damn phone number. I ain’t never changing it.”

  I nodded in agreement. Although I felt sad, I was excited about the possibilities of what Sandra could do for me on the outside. I walked back over to my cell with the paperwork Sandra had given me. I finally took her advice and began to read the thick stack of legal-sized papers. After the first couple of lines, and before long, I was enthralled with what was contained in those documents. The wheels in my brain had already started turning with ways I could make my case fit. If Sandra could do it, maybe I could too.

  5

  MY WORST NIGHTMARES

  Tedo, Jillian’s cleanup man, walks into my apartment, looks at Terrell’s dead body, and lights his cigarette like nothing. “Fuck happened to his eyeballs?” Tedo asks dryly.

  Jillian chuckles evilly. “Somewhere down there.”

  “Please just get him out of here,” I say, trembling. The smell of blood and human bodily fluids makes me sick as shit.

  “After we get him in a bathtub, it shouldn’t take us longer than forty-five minutes,” Tedo says, still with not an ounce of emotion in his words.

  The first thing I see is a black body bag. I’m talking about the ones you see on the TV series NCIS. Then a small handheld saw. I immediately gag. They are about to cut Terrell up.

  “Hey, wait, you’re going to cut him up in pieces?” I ask, my teeth chattering.

  “How the hell else did you think we were going to take him out of here?” Tedo asks me. “Come on, let’s put him in the bag,” he instructs his partner.

  Jillian and I stand in awe. “I ain’t ever seen nobody do this shit in person. It’s always been on TV.”

  We tiptoe around the blood on the floor and head into the kitchen.

  “Tedo and April are the best that ever done it. After they leave here tonight, there’s not going to be a trace of Terrell’s blood in sight,” Jillian says to me.

  “I don’t care how good they clean up my place, they could still rat me out,” I whisper.

  “Misty, Tedo and his people ain’t into that snitching shit. That’s a code that they live by,” Jillian tries to assure me. But doubt looms in the back of my mind. There is nothing Jillian could say that would ease my mind.

  While we sit in the kitchen, we hear the saw buzzing from the bathroom.

  “No, hold it like this,” Tedo says.

  “I wonder how far they’ve gotten?” Jillian asks.

  “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  “I’m going to go in there and check.” Jillian stands up from the kitchen chair.

  A few minutes later, she screams, “Oh my God! I can’t do this!” She runs back into the kitchen and buries her face in her hands.

  “What happened?”

  “I couldn’t stand there and watch them with all the damn blood, with the legs and arms and shit. My stomach couldn’t take it,” she explains after she removes her hands from her face.

  I then walk to the bathroom and all I see is the blood everywhere.

  Terrell’s arms and legs and head roll toward me, and from his severed head his mouth is moving. He is screaming my name. “Misty! Misty!”

  “Agh!” I scream, and take off running!

  * * *

  I jumped out of my sleep, my body trembling all o
ver. I was jolted by the same nightmare I’d been having every night since my sentencing. I couldn’t shake it. The disposal of Terrell’s body was haunting me, day after day, and night after night. I guess it had started because now I had nothing but time to think about it. Before, I was so busy running for my life, I didn’t have the time.

  The loud sound of clanging metal was noticeable as soon as I was fully awake. The noises were constant in the new prison. I used my forearm to cover my eyes from the bright lights that had come on. The first thing I felt was the sharp stab of hunger pangs. I hadn’t had a real appetite since I’d gotten there. It was hard to eat that nasty-ass food and I didn’t trust sitting down with any group. This new prison had many cliques of women. I could tell that as soon as I arrived. I wasn’t interested in being in anyone’s clique, but I knew if I didn’t join one soon, I’d be open to anything with no protection.

  There was more clanging sounds and the lights over my head seemed brighter than they usually were. I hated this fucking place. And, as many times as I had to say it, I still couldn’t believe I was locked up.

  “Rise and fucking shine! Let’s rock and roll, ladies!” a fat female CO screamed out as she passed my cell. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that I was dreaming and would one day wake up in my own bed in my own house with my mother in the kitchen cooking me a good home-cooked breakfast of her famous biscuits, grits, and slab bacon.

  When I opened my eyes again, I realized it was real: I was still in prison. The pungent smell of disinfectant from the little silver sink/toilet combo seemed to be more noticeable to me than before too. The scent went straight to my empty stomach and immediately made me nauseous.

  More screaming from the COs forced me to finally sit up. I couldn’t understand why they had to be so loud and dysfunctional. My head was spinning. I don’t know if it was lack of sleep or just stress, but I had woken up with a headache every single day since I’d been sent from county jail to state prison two weeks prior. The pain in my back from the hard bed with its thin, worthless mattress told me it was very real.